Saturday, July 21, 2012

Vinh Watch 2012: Day 41 and 42

I know I ruined some trust bonds with that atrocious last round of Vinh Watch updates, but I promise this round is better and definitely worth reading. Albeit shorter, it's still better (like me!).  One other thing, I'm now pretty adept at living on my own so hilarious happenings are fewer and far between. Also, there's only about ten days remaining in my pseudo-adult life since I'm going to Texas August 1st and will be with my parents. I've really settled into a routine this last month and the problems have become more and more everyday: being too lazy to wash the dishes, going to work, trying to cook not-terrible food, sorting mail, writing letters and thank you cards, sending letters and thank you cards. They've become less of something I  can find humor in and something I have to deal with on a consistent basis. That being said maybe some hilarious things will happen to me while I'm in Texas, but to be honest, I see Vinh Watch coming to an end here very soon. There is hope on the horizon however, as I am playing in MUDI, an Ultimate Frisbee tournament in the twin cities, at the end of this month AND I have to find a means to get to the airport on August 1st so keep your fingers crossed that things will not go smoothly for me (it's a little strange to tell other people to hope for misfortune for yourself...).  Now I know the end of Vinh Watch is something to be sad about, but there's really no reason to weep. After all, I'm just some dude who made his life out to be more dramatic and tragic than it really was. I hope you enjoyed "watching" me as much as I have enjoyed writing this.

"Don't be sad that it ended, be happy that it happened." - Me, trying to think of that quote by Dr. Seuss about not being sad, but being happy instead.

That being said, here is possibly the final Vinh Watch update.

July 13, 2012
Day 41:
4:45 P.M. - Vinh meets up with Emily to learn how to drive a stick shift. Emily teaches Vinh on a straight road by a park is town that is isolated from any roads with significant traffic. In retrospect, a wise decision. She explains the technique of driving stick which Vinh is able to understand. Vinh's confidence is high as he gets behind the wheel. What he thought would go as smoothly as a dream soon turns to a nightmare that begins as he immediately stalls the car. Vinh sees it as a minor set back, but subconsciously he knows that this does not forebode well. He struggles to turn the car on despite this process being the same as in any car. His second attempt begins optimistically but is short lived as he stalls once again. A theme that he would become all too familiar. He continues to stall for the next several attempts and with each and every rough and jerky stop-and-start Vinh swears while Emily gives him kind and reassuring words. Patience begins to wear thin, but through divine intervention Vinh is able to get the car rolling, but the start is about as smooth as a teenager's face. Vinh reaches the end of the road and begins to panic as he realizes that he is headed towards real traffic. His prayers are answered as the car stalls. Frustration reaches a new high and Emily finds comfort in peanut butter M&M's. After a number of tries Vinh is able to turn the car around but stalls shifting into the ever elusive second gear. More swearing and M&M's happen. Vinh reaches the end of the road and attempts to turn around with reassurance and borrowed confidence from Emily. This is tricky because he must shift gears multiple times. Something he is able to do with the consistency of love at first sight. He predictably stalls the car as he shifts for the first time into reverse. The car is posistioned so that he is blocking both lanes of traffic. As he attempts to start the car again an older gentleman on a bicycle rides by to witness the comedy of Vinh's personal anguish. Vinh feels the embarrassment of a adolescent who has committed a social faux pas at a popular kids birthday party. Vinh stalls once or twice as the cyclist rides by. Vinh finally starts the car and surrenders, embarrassed and incompetent.
Final counts:
Stalls - 30, possibly more. Definitely more. Witnesses: 2 (include Emily) Deaths: 0 Damages to Emily's car: TBD

5:30 P.M. -7:00 P.M. - Vinh plays pick up Ultimate in steady rain and lightning. Despite this they play on. The lightning and thunder provide a delicate background as the group enjoys their time, but the fun and games could all end with a fateful chance and a single strike of lightning. The group, feeling brave, mocks the storm and tempts fate by making famous last words jokes, mainly consisting of "YOLO". Luckily, no one would have to eat their words.

July 14, 2012 Day 42
1:24 P.M. - Vinh receives a call from his mother and ends up talking to his older sister. She offers praise for his literary genius exhibited on Vinh watch, but reminds him to maintain a professional public profile if he ever hopes to make big money. Vinh understands, but is frustrated that Vinh Watch, with its good natured and entertaining self loathing cannot be left alone to simply exist. Vinh feels like an angsty pre-teen girl crying to be left alone. He regrettably cannot simply say, "Sorry for partying".

4:43 P.M. - Vinh's D-III nationals pint glass meets its maker as it is shattered in a dishwashing accident. The bowl Vinh was washing slipped from his supple grasp and shattered the lip on the glass. Shards flew through the end and Vinh was left as a shaken and shattered (too soon?) shell of himself. They say the good die young. Vinh has never known this to be more true than today.


Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Vinh Watch 2012: Day 32 - 39

July 4, 2012 Day 32
3:00 P.M. Vinh goes tubing on the Canon River with two friends. About half way down he realizes that he left his car keys in his friend's car. This is notable as Vinh's car is where they plan on ending their tubing time. This realization is followed by some swearing, laughing, and guilt.

5:38 P.M. Vinh is luckily able to retrieve his cell phone from his car and is able to call a cab back to town. Laura is especially lucky since she did not have shoes and the walk back to town on gravel would most likely  have spelled death for her.

10:00 P.M. Vinh receives a call from Thomas "Bonewolf" Cullen and confusedly talks to him for about ten minutes about hanging out. Vinh is reluctant to hang out as he must rise early for work the next day. Vinh is confused because the person on the phone does not sound like Tommy and claims to have a surprise for him. Vinh wonders if it will be about as exciting as the prizes found at the bottom of a cereal box.

10:23 P.M.The surprise is none other than Erik Larsen. He was also the person on the phone. They drive to campus to watch the fireworks on the top floor of Regents Hall.

10:30 P.M. They arrive at Regents and run into some friends. They learn that the fireworks they had intended to watched had just ended. So far hanging out has only resulted in failure.

July 5, 2012 Day 33
1:00 P.M. Vinh has a match at Shakopee. Two players arrive and Vinh must face the embarrassment of defaulting a majority of his matches and he wonders who thought a match the day after the fourth of July was a good idea. A possible "no fun zone" alert. 

7:00 P.M. Vinh makes jean cutoffs from an old pair of jeans. Considers it one of his best life choices in recent memory.

July 11, 2012 Day 39
6:00 A.M. Vinh wakes up after only about two hours of sleep. His insomnia chooses the worst possible nights to be exceptional. Vinh struggles with short term memory loss as he prepares for a tournament in Mankato. He makes a lunch and heads to the high school to meet with parents and players at 7:00 A.M.

8:30 A.M. - 4:13 P.M. Vinh battles fatigue, indifference, and general laziness during his matches as he creates line ups, makes errors assigning courts, and forgets to record scores from his matches. Vinh spends much of the day sitting and staring off into space. Despite this his team manages a second place finish and Northfield sweeps the top three spots at the tournament for U-14s. 

4:15 P.M.- 5:15 P.M. Vinh naps the whole way back to Northfield and considers not playing pick up, but goes anyway because the fatigue has made him, pardon the language, "give zero fucks". 

5:30 P.M. Cole "Blue Man" Steigler provides a surprise cameo at pick up.

8:13 P.M. As he waits for his laundry, Vinh realizes he has not done Vinh Watch updates in quite some time and decides he needs to comment on some of his activities. He considers that perhaps his life has become too boring and unable to be dramatized.

10:03 P.M. Vinh finishes doing some Vinh Watch updates and considers them to be his worst ones yet. Feels the need to apologize to any readers for wasting their time. While there may be a gem here and there in this batch of updates Vinh feels that overall this does not live up to par for Vinh Watch. Encourages readers to ream him for his flavorless droll.

10:07 P.M.Looks up the word droll to make sure he used it properly. He did not. 

10:08 P.M. Vinh tries to hide his tears of shame, but once again fatigue has made him "give no fucks".