I know it's been a while since the last Vinh Watch updates but I have a few excuses in my defense. 1) I've been busy with trying to volunteer at a garden in town, unsuccessfully. 2) I've been doin' my thang gurl. I've been working, playing ultimate and generally having fun with friends. 3) I felt like the updates were becoming too often and as a result becoming less and less notable so I decided to cut back. 4) I don't have internet in my house so I have to make a trip to the public library or to Goodbye Blue Monday, a place that so graciously lets me use its internet to my heart's delight. 5) I am lazy.
That being said here are the, possibly long awaited, updates from Vinh Watch 2012!
June 20, 2012: Day 19
-5:00 P.M.
Vinh eats two Twinkies and feels a level of disgust usually reserved for pedophiles and date rapists.
-8:45 P.M.
Vinh makes light of his Twinkie eating by tweeting "Ate 2 twinkies today. #YOLO"
June 24, 2012: Day 23
-1:13 P.M.
Vinh is defeated by the single life. The everyday tasks of cooking and washing dishes has mentally worn him down. The fact that there is almost another month of solitude Vinh thinks perhaps Cole "The Blueman" Steigler will be correct in his prediction of death by the end of summer.
-5:30- 8:30 P.M.
Vinh feels an obscene amount of frustration as he plays terrible during his Sunday night league. It all began with a single missed shot and snowballed until Vinh uncontrollably could only think, "This is horseshit" with every missed shot. I believe there's an old saying, "Some days you poop on the toilet, some days you are the toilet." Vinh was the toilet.
June 27, 2012: Day 26
-12:03 P.M.
Today is offensively hot. Vinh wears a cutoff to work and thinks about how funny it'd be if a tennis tournament gave out cutoffs for t-shirts on his way to work. Enjoys a good chuckle to himself.
-3:40 P.M.
Vinh receives acclaim from one of the players about his blog. The player encourages Vinh to include details of how they played pickup ultimate together and made jokes together today. Vinh wonders why people want him to make Vinh Watch boring.
-5:30-7:00 P.M.
Vinh plays pick up in the outrageously humid and hot weather. He forgets what it is like to be dry as sweat quickly soaks through his clothes. This is weather no cutoff can salvage. He cannot throw any meaningful throws as his hands as perpetually slick from sweat. Considers it the WORST.
-7:15 P.M.
Goes swimming in the cannon river with some girls (no big). Mosquitoes feast upon his blood and he wonders what the odds of being infected with the West Nile Virus are. Then he remembers that he is swimming in the Canon River and is lucky to still have bodily function.
June 28, 2012: Day 27
-4:00 P.M.
Vinh accidently pegs a kid in the nuts while feeding volleys during work. The kid was standing in line and, as if drawn up by the hands of fate, he was putting on a vibration dampener that had fallen off his racquet. Another kid was doing the drill and Vinh fed a high backhand volley that the kid in the drill swung for and missed and Vinh watched as the ball arched and ever so gracefully hit the kid adjusting his dampener. Vinh's apologies fell on deaf ears as the kid had to sit down and complained of feeling sick. Vinh felt as if a strange justice had been served today. This kid slandered Michael Abdella's, a coworker, good name by claiming "Michael eats poop for lunch." Secretly Vinh thought the crudeness and obvious truthless nature of the claim was hilarious.
-8:00 P.M.
Vinh enjoys a nice meal with Abi Enockson. They cook a spaghetti with vegetable and chicken medley that is seasoned with olive oil and salt. Despite being a bear, Abi does not ruin the meal.
June 29, 2012: Day 28
-2:30 A.M.
Vinh is annoyed with a fire alarm in his apartment as he tries to sleep. The alarm seems to be beeping at random. Vinh wonders if it is trying to warn him of carbon monoxide, but doubts the possibility as windows have been open for many hours. Yells in frustration, "What are you trying to tell me?!?" and "What do you want from me?!?" Weeps as he falls asleep.
-11:43 A.M.
Vinh takes a shower and as he washes his face all the warning signs begin to sink in. He tries to ignore them and thinks, "No...this can't be happening to me. There must be some kind of mistake. It's just a little fullness from lunch, that's all." But by the end of his shower he accepts the truth: He has to poop.
-12:10 P.M.
Vinh finishes his post-shower poop and weeps audibly. He exhibits symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder as going anywhere near the bathroom leaves him in shambles and he spirals down into a world of uncleanliness, shame, and doubt. This is magnified by the fact that the bathroom is about one fifth of his living space.
-12:18 P.M.
Vinh realizes the random beeping from the fire alarm has stopped and thinks that perhaps there is a chance he can make it in this world. However, he still avoids the bathroom whenever possible.
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